Its Saturday evening, I'm back in Bluffton hanging out with two great friends Ben Stoller and Kyle Kipfer. We are at the fair. Its getting late and the fair is winding down. Kyle and I were determined to win a goldfish...and after some unsuccessful attempts, the guy working the stand (aka carnie) gave us two goldfish. Ahh...finally, we now have our beloved goldfish. However, we had no intent on taking them home and the carnie only gave them to us because they were going to be dead soon. So, out of the kindness of our hearts, we figured we might advance that stages of nature by putting the poor little Goldfish out of their misery.
Ben, Kyle, and myself walk into a dark alley way of Bluffton and begin throwing our prized goldfish high into the air or into the bricks of a building. (Wow this post is making me sound really evil) Anyways, these little guys were not dying, the water in which they were in served as a pocket of protection and took the brunt of the blows. Eventually, our work was finished.
As we were leaving the alley, four of the finest Bluffton Police Officers show up.
They received a report of animal cruelty. Really? Are you kidding me? These are goldfish...they have the attention span of 3 seconds! The cops then proceeded to shine their lights and interrogate, mainly Kyle (who is at this time holding both bags, one with a flopping/dying goldfish and the other with no goldfish) as to what we were doing. Threatening us saying that this is animal cruelty and its a misdemeanor and that we could go to jail for this. Wow...ok, this is getting serious. These guys mean business. They then ask for identification and say that Kyle's looks a little fake.
At this point in time, my parents show up, knowing beforehand our intentions with the goldfish. I thought we caught a break, the parents can help bail us out. The worst part is, my mom thinks its funny and is trying to get a picture of these 4 cops talking to these three, very intimidated, college aged guys. I told my mom the seriousness of our "crime." My mom then started laughing and we realized, we had been had. I was personally looking for Ashton Kutcher. The cops then laughed it off while we, and especially Kyle were relieved that it was all one big practical joke.
Turns out that after we "won" our fish, we bumped into my mom and told her our evil intentions. We then went to the alley. My mom went and saw a cop, who my mom knew. She told him what we were doing and that he should scare us a bit. This cop, then grabbed three of his friends...and the rest is history.
The pranking war has officially begun.
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